Get Behind Me, Sinuses!
Hey hey hey! It's been a super-long time since I've done one of these, but it's time for a random life update! I know, I know, exactly what you were hoping for. But for the two of you who care, here's what's going on with me...As of right now, I go to work, I go to school, I have a sinus infection. Work is good good good (almost always). School is ok, but a little boring, and I am very very behind in all of my classes. I usually have a perpetual sinus infection throughout the winter. But no more! I'm going to ask the ENT Dr. to remove my sinus cavities. That should solve my problems, right?
As for the future, I will be working even more full-time than I am now next semester, and I will be taking only 1.5 classes. Those classes would be biology and web page design (which is a non-credit course, and therefore only counts as half a class). Sounds fun, right? Right. I will also be getting some beautiful new equipment and starting a real music podcast. And I'm sure you all will listen. Maybe you can help me think of a name for it. I have one in mind, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. What would you call a podcast that plays amazing music that is usually by Christian artists but that isn't particularly Christian music? You tell me.
In other news, I'm sick of Christians. Yes, I said it. It's not that there aren't a lot of people who are Christians who I absolutely love (just like there are a lot of non-Christian people who I absolutely love), but I'm sick of the big thing (for lack of better terminology) that is Christianity. Now let's get one thing straight. I'm not denouncing Jesus... not at all. In fact, I want a relationship, and a radical one, with God now more than ever. I just don't want to do it the way I've always done it. Boringly, comfortably, safely... the way I almost always see it done around me. (Don't start sending me hate mail if you are a Christian that I know... I know that there are quite a few of you that are doing Christianity radically and are really following Jesus). But the truth of the matter is that the whole system of Christianity: the music, the "new laws" (hmm, you might have to listen to this week's pseudo-podcast to catch that reference), the church buildings, the fakery (yes, it's a word), the unoriginality - these things are not working for me or for Christians or for our oh-so-"Christian" country. So I want to do it differently. But I'm not entirely sure how to do that. So I'm just kind of stuck here. Again. But unlike other times when I've run away from God, this time I feel hopeful. I will not settle for less than all of God this time. I won't settle for the watered-down, feel-good Christianity that every church I've ever been to has tried to cram down my throat. I will base my relationship with God and the way I live my life on actually talking and listening to Jesus (Gasp! Shocking concept!). Alright, enough deep, pondering nonsense.
Now go leave me a comment. Shameless groveling for comments didn't work, so I'm trying a more imperative style of speech. I hope I get my point across. Ok bye.
Fondestly,
Dr. J
PS - I apologize for the lack of grammatical correctness in this post. As you can see, these really are the unedited ramblings of my overtired mind.
posted by Jill at 9:40 AM
3 Comments:
Jill, I think I know what you mean. A lot of us think that our Christianity is an emotion, but it isn't. It isn't just something to make us feel good. We should be thinking of what we should do, how we should act, what we can do for others, live like Jesus, not just feel the love and use it when we need it. Well, I know that isn't exactly what you are going through, but sort of. PS. I like Derek Webb a lot.
Also, going to church isn't just a "feel good" action that isn't meaningful. Worshipping with other people is very comforting, most of us have a lot of adversity in our lives and we go to church to honor God and also worhsip together. It is comforting and I also believe in the power of prayer, when I am in church with hundreds of other people all praying for the same thing or same person it is powerful.
There are a lot of cultures where people are not allowed to do that, and every time one of us goes to worship in organized religion with others, we are exercising a right that others die for. Sorry to be so negative, but it's true, going to church is more than the regiment that you sometimes see on the surface.
did you think all day from 704 to 632 about what to post for your second comment?
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