Life in the Loony Bin

Hey all... I apologize for the lack of posts in the last couple days. I've been super-busy, and YouTube is being stupid and won't let me put any videos up. But anyways, it's time for a random life update! I've had a really nice last couple of days. Work has been surprisingly pleasant and pretty quiet (or as quiet as a room with 5 toddlers can be), and school has been interesting, with activities such as a field trip, outside "play", and charades! This is a relief because of the insane amounts of homework I have this week. It's also a relief after a rough weekend. I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm crazy, because my tiredness and hungriness and overwhelmedness and sad spiritual condition made me act like a person who belongs in the loony bin. Luckily, church has been good for me, if for no other reason than that it forces me to open my Bible and think about God. And surprise! I talked to Jesus a couple times this week. Here's a verse I read that has affected the way I have been talking to and interacting with God...

"Do not be rash with your mouth,
And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.
For God is in heaven, and you on earth;
Therefore let your words be few.
For a dream comes through much activity,
And a fool's voice is known by his many words."
*Ecclesiastes 5:2-3*

This is like a foreign concept to me, because lately when I talk to God, all I do is go on and on with excuses and with reasons why I'm the victim and why He should feel sorry for me. You have no idea how great a relief it is to be able to quiet myself and sit instead in reflection of God's great attributes. To peel my eyes away from myself, even for a moment, allows me to see a glimpse of something so much bigger and infinitely more exciting than this life, this existence. And Jars of Clay expressed it so well when they said that "we are bored of all the things we know". I am bored with my computer, my schoolwork, my music, the type of Christianity I see all around me. So, while trying to let my words be few, I asked God to allow my relationship with Him to go to a place, to be something that I have never experienced before; I want a relationship with God to reflect all the magnificence and excitement that He is and that He wants my life to be. And all He said to me was, "Change your attitude." So, as Shane & Shane so melodically put it, my anthem right now is, "Lord, I know if I change my mind, you will change my heart in time. Sovereign Lord, this time's from you, so I sit in the waiting room of silence." Thanks for listening to the unrestrained blabber of my mind. Have a nice night/day/afternoon/evening.

Quietly (in spirit, anyway! ),
Jill